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The Prison of Unforgiveness

The Prison of Unforgiveness

As humans, all of us partake in suffering and trials of different kinds. But the beautiful thing is that each trial strengthens us.

Even when we feel at the bottom, and we're tired and weary, desperate and crying, there's hope. The future is bright especially when we have a relationship with the Lord and know Him not only as our Savior, but also as our best Friend. We can get through it and there will be better days ahead.

Life is truly beautiful at all stages if we let it be. Do you have the courage to search for the light found deep amid your situation? You will find the light if you look hard enough. 

My Personal Experience

I'd like to share my personal experience to relate to you, and hopefully it'll touch your heart and inspire you to fully forgive too. 

Lately I had been dealing with heartbreak and trails of my own: for some new pain and some old pain. The Lord gently let me know I was suffering and He didn't want me to; He gave me the instructions to let it go and to give Him my burden instead. I knew I was holding on to pain because I just couldn't believe that I was treated so unjustly by people I loved so much and who I thought loved me so much too. I thought I had forgiven but I was still holding on to all the negative emotions of the stages of pain I felt.

Desperate one night after He relayed the message to me, I cried out to the Lord, tears streaming down my face, that I didn't know what to do and that I needed His help to heal and move on. I told Him that I wanted to be able to just look forward, and not look to the right, left, and especially not turn and look back, but just move forward with strength. The next morning, I happened to come across this powerful sermon by Pastor Robert Morris on the Pardon of Prayer, and the Lord revealed to me that I hadn't fully forgiven everyone who hurt me. I learned that I hadn't released those people who had hurt me from the accompanying emotions of hurt, betrayal, brokenness, pain, shock, abandonment, and all the other feelings that were tied to my experience with my loved ones. 

Forgiveness is not just about saying and believing you forgave. Forgiveness isn't just about partial forgiveness. Forgiveness should be full, complete forgiveness, releasing people from the damaging and painful emotions they have caused you. 

Unforgiveness keeps you in bondage. Like Pastor Steven Furtick says, unforgiveness is a prison, and you are the prisoner. 

Unforgiveness may hurt the people who hurt you, especially if you retaliate or have feelings of resentment. But worst of all, it hurts you deeply. There are lots of people who live decades holding grudges towards people. Don't be one of those people, carrying that hurt for all your life. 

Steps to Take to Move Forward 

  1. I implore you, learn to fully forgive. 
  2. Invite the Lord to search your heart, and purify you.
  3. Write a list of everyone who has hurt you, and one by one, go down the list and decide to fully forgive.
    Release them from the negative emotions they have caused you.
  4. If you feel compelled, write a letter, as you explain your forgiveness, and in the meantime, you could apologize for your role in the conflict, (no matter how small), and make things right. 

Sometimes people won't accept your apology or letter, but sometimes they will. Don't be defensive if someone doesn't want to accept your letter. Being offended also keeps you in bondage. Also, don't necessarily look to "get something" out of your letter. Just give, let go, and move forward. Don't go in with expectations, just be content that you did the right thing.

It's never wrong to be the bigger person and to do the right thing. 

I hope this story touches your heart. This is the most personal blog I've written and I felt compelled to write it, because the freedom I have now is something I want you all to experience too. Practice this act of self-care and love yourself enough and love others enough to fully forgive. It's WORTH IT, I promise. Life will go so much smoother if you learn to fully forgive, and do it. 

You can do this! ❤️